Seeing Signs

I don’t typically ask for help.  Not directly.  I’ve sometimes asked for signs that things are going to be okay, or will work out, or a sign of faith.

I didn’t ask for one this time.  I just didn’t ask.  But it’s the kind of thing that makes its presence known whether you ask for it or not.  And I certainly didn’t ask.

Those who have faith, those who believe, would probably say that it’s the times that you don’t ask, or don’t think to ask is when you need the sign the most.  And I’d have to say that I agreed with that idea this time around.

I needed a sign.  I needed something solid, something concrete to show itself to me, and to wake me up.

I still don’t know about the idea of God speaking to me either directly or indirectly.  But I certainly don’t believe in coincidences.  Which is what makes this that much more amazing.

I was going through a folder that I had for video editing and general notes and ideas on a book I’m trying to write, when I stumbled across a list of songs that I had written down for the video editing purposes.  A list of songs that I had planned on dubbing over a few Buffy related video clips to make a fanvid.  I listed to some of the songs on my iPod, but as I got further down the list, some of the songs weren’t on my iPod or in my iTunes folder.  So, I had to look them up on the internet.

I came across a song on my list that I have never heard before.  I’ve never seen the lyrics before.  And yet, it was still on my list.

And I listened to the song.  And I read the lyrics.  And I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and reading.  The song had a very spiritual tone to it, and the lyrics made it even more emotional.

The song is called “Everything,” by Lifehouse.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

The song made me emotional.  But I’ve been emotional for days now.  But the song made me emotional.  There were tears in my eyes while listening to it.  I found the lyrics touching, and telling, and really affected me in a way that I was not at all expecting.

Maybe I’m reading too much into the song.  But maybe I’m not.  Maybe I needed to hear it, and read the lyrics.  Maybe I needed to know that there is someone out there looking out for me.  Maybe this was the sign pointing me in the right direction.

Maybe this is where my faith begins.

Fun Games to Play While on Vacation

Chriso and I have been mupping around Virginia for the last week or so.  We’ve been pretty productive, we’ve gotten things done that needed to get done.  And we’re gearing up for another week here. 

We’ve gone to the beach.  Actually, we’ve gone to a few beaches.  Oh, did I forget to mention that Chriso was born a fish?  Well, yeah.  He was.

And we’ve been having the most amazing time.  AND the weather has TOTALLY cooperated with us in that respect. 

But in going out and doing things and being productive, there’s also a lot of down time in the hotel room.  The other day, there was THE MOST AMAZING lightning storm I’ve ever seen going on, and we just sat on our porch deck thing and watched it.  AND got some incredible pictures in the process.

BUT… there’s still down time in the hotel room.  We eat lunch and dinner in pretty much almost every day – and we’ve been saving money by doing so.  And before bed, there isn’t much to do… OK, that’s not entirely true.  There’s PLENTY to do.  But I didn’t feel that telling the world that I like to get my naughty on several times a day was appropriate.  Shit!  There goes THAT plan.

ANYway.  What I’m getting at is that Chriso and I have been watching quite a bit of TV.  More than we’ve ever really done together.  And among the TV shows and baseball games there’s tons and tons of movies to be seen. 

They are CLEARLY on HBO, but when you look at the TV guide, this random channel 21 doesn’t show up anywhere, and has thus been named That Weird Movie Channel.

And we’ve seen a lot of movies in the last week on TWMC.  So many that neither of us has seen, and a few that we have.

But since ther are so many movies we HAVEN’T seen, we’ve created a game out of it.  Mostly because some of the movies are just so awful that we can’t help but do something entertaining while watching them.  And, no, the naughty part does NOT come into play here.

Pretty much what happens is that we see an actor that we MIGHT recognize from, oh my god, what was he in – he was in the show with that other guy… holy crap, what was that show??? and we try to guess who they are, and what else they’ve been in.

And we’ve actually done pretty well for ourselves.  Most of our guesses have been COMPLETELY wrong, but some have been spot on.

For example – and Chriso posted about this the other day, with that kid from the Cosby show who was in that AWFUL movie… crap!  what was that awful movie? – Pay it Forward.  Neither of us had ever seen it – and I TOTALLY recommend seeing it – but we were able to piece it together and figure out that Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey and Haley Joel Osment were in this great movie together, and we didn’t even have to go to the Internets to figure it out.

Another aspect of this Guess the Movie game is while watching an awful movie trying to watch it as long as possible.  Once you add in the factor of trying to figure out who the actors are, you’ve got yourself a competition.  ALSO, the use of the Internets is ALWAYS permitted, BUT do recognize that in using the Internets, you are ending the game, so to speak.

But try it.  See if you like it.  See how many movies you can actually figure out without having seen them. 

What other games can one play while on an extended vacation?

Because things couldn’t possibly get any worse

Actually, things aren’t really all that bad.  Just very VERY stressful.

But right now, I feel like I’m going to vomit.

Two weeks ago, I got into a minor car accident.  Unfortunately, it involved two other people, AND it was my fault.  The police showed up, everyone exchanged information, and everything was good.

NOW, two weeks later, my parents have gotten notice from a lawyer in Dracut in regards to one of the cars involved in the accident.  Allegedly because of personal injury.  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!?  The cops were there.  Said he was fine.  The paramedics asked if he wanted to be seen, he said no.  And you’re going to tell me that he has suffered PERSONAL INJURY????  SERIOUSLY???

I really want to just disappear at this point.  Only so many things can go wrong before I’m just going to want to give up and leave.

But I can’t do that.  I’m responsible.  I have to be the responsible party.  And plus, the car is registered to my parents, so if anything happens they’ll be the ones to take the hit.  I just can’t deal with that.  It’s not fair.

But how fucked up do you have to be to claim you’re injured TWO WEEKS after the fact?  Maybe I’m just naive.  And it’s certainly not something that I would ever do to someone willingly.  I’d even have a problem doing it unwillingly.  But I guess that is the nature of people.

Go figure this has to happen right before I’m supposed to be moving… I just have to keep positive thoughts.  And everything’s going to be fine…

Chriso Gets a Haircut: A Real-life Fairytale

*Because I’ve got the photo bug, and because things like this absolutely MUST be documented, I’ve put together another photo essay  about Chriso getting his first haircut in 2.5 years.  Holy potatoes, did he have a lot of hair.*

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a prince named Chriso.  And Chriso had REALLY long hair.

Chriso posing for the BEFORE picture

One day, Chriso decided that he wanted to drastically change his appearance and donate his hair to a good cause all at the same time.  So Chriso went to Supercuts.

enjoying the candid shots I INSIST on taking of him

They washed his hair, and told him over and over again how thick it was.

getting his hair did

Then they discussed him donating it.

to donate or not to donate...

Once they’d decided to cut off 2 ponytails worth of hair, they started cutting away, until Chriso looked like Patrick Dempsey.

Heeellloooo, McDreamy!

more McDreamy!

And then they cut off more hair until it was all gone.

Hair Today... Gone Tomorrow...

The End.

Chriso posing for the AFTER picture

So… Chriso got his hair cut yesterday after 2.5 years.  I’m not gonna lie.  I was a little traumatized, considering I had FINALLY gotten used to the long hair.  But it was a great time. 

OH!  And the girl who was sweeping up his hair as they were cutting it swept up no less than 3 HUGE piles of hair.  I wish I’d taken pictures of each pile, but I didn’t ‘really remember it until the end.

AND once he got to the McDreamy stage of this whole thing, I HAD  run my fingers through his hair.  And we were both half-tempted to let him be McDreamy for awhile… but it’ll grow back. 

I can’t say I’m surprised that Chriso let me document this.  He is my favorite photo subject.  And all his pictures come out amazing!

So… That was my day.

Trying to remain calm

Because my day couldn’t possibly get any better… or any worse… Well, it wasn’t all that bad.  In hindsight, it’s just plain annoying.

I had a doctor’s appointment in Boston yesterday.  Due to some recent health issues, which you can read about here and here, I trekked all the way into Boston to see a specialist.  And he made me come back for a procedure.  So into Boston I went.

Actually, I had a pitstop in Lynn. 

Chriso was especially helpful yesterday.  Actually, he’s normally pretty good about helping me with stuff and making sure I’m taken care of.  I have no complaints.  But he had this brilliant idea that we should commute together to my mother’s house, where I was going there already, and he had to work a town over an hour later.  So it worked out nice.

We sat around and chatted with my mom, and laughed at my brother.  And then my mom and I went into Boston, and Chriso went to work. 

The rest of the day went great.  My procedure was fine.  We had dinner and rented movies, and slept.  It was probably one of my favorite nights.  Those usually occur when we’re just laying around and not doing anything but spending time together. 

But as awesomely great as yesterday was, today started off terribly.

First, I turned off BOTH my alarms.  I don’t have just one.  I have 2.  Because what if I accidentally turned one of them off?  Then I would have the other one as a backup.  And wouldn’t you know it, today I turned them both off.  I woke up late, knowing I would be late for work, which was fine, except that I needed to stop for gas. 

I rush to get dressed, and pull my hair back, and throw everything I need in my backpack.  Then, I reached for my keys.

…

NOTHING.  I had no keys.

I left my keys in Lynn.  At my mother’s house.  On her coffee table.  Which was not my purse.

I pretty much wanted to die.

Thank God Chriso was there, and thank God we just bought a new car because I definitely would have been out of luck, and this day would have gone much differently.

Best. Day. Ever.

I ended up having to take the convertible, which is never a bad thing, excpet Chriso was going to take it to a dealer and have them look at the roof, which isn’t broken, just slightly malfunctioning.  In the sense that it can go up and down, it just needs a little help.

But aside from all that, today has not actually gone all that badly.  I was a half hour late for work.  I had several voicemails when I came in, and a minor crisis to solve.  Life is good.